Alana Grainger | The one that you are searching for is, yourself.
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The one that you are searching for is, yourself.

No matter where you look or what you think you need to make yourselves, better, thinner, prettier, fitter, stronger, smarter or braver will always be elusive as you are searching for it everywhere else except the only place it resides. How often is it that you have thought, once I get this I will be happy? Once I have gotten over that THEN life will be good? This place in the future is some illusive pegasus that is continuously just beyond your grasp and the more that you search for it on the outer the more drained and lifeless you become on the inner, as your essence is flowing out of you quicker than you can replenish it. 

Oh, those shiny lights. 

Doesn’t life shimmer and gleam at times? You become so overwhelmed and intoxicated with the thrill and drama of it that you get totally sucked into something that seems so real as it is tangible.  You find yourself in a beautiful fantasy or a hellish nightmare and believe that what you are experiencing has somehow reeled you in to partake in the story. You, as you are, have somehow been swept up and carried away into some play of life that you might or might not want to be part of. Yet, what you don’t realise is that you forgot that you auditioned for the part and cast yourself in that role. 

It reminds me of the quote by one of my favourite writers:

You don’t see the world as it is, you see it as you are”

Anaïs Nin

It is easy to get tangled up in this world as it appears so concrete. It completely indulges every single one of the senses to it’s extreme. It’s easier to identify with that which exists outside as it is perceived to be ‘real’. Yet, every so often you might get a feeling that there is something that lies just behind the surface of your being, just a little bit back from the ‘front line’ of your physical experience. 

When you close your eyes at night you might feel yourself drop back into it, or opposingly, you might feel yourself rise out of it in the moments preceding your alarm. In these times, just before your mind has fully switched on or off, you may notice yourself ‘go to or return’ from somewhere. If this has ever happened to you, then I invite you to inquire as to where you go and what is that place? For these are precisely the times when you know you are in your body but somehow, you’re not quite ‘here’. 

Conscious creator

Your mind is somewhat of a movie projector from which you get to view its contents, watching the unfoldment of it through the vantage point of your eyes. Your eyes illuminate to you the world that has been constructed from within your mind. This information has been gathered from past experiences in the outside world. Just take a moment to digest that.

If you have had times of pain and suffering, the world will look cruel and harsh but when you have experienced joy and happiness, you will feel safe and secure. This idea gets flipped on its head when you realise that to be able to access those the moments of joy, happiness, safety and security, you FIRST have to create them within. The world is simply responding to the encoded vibrational energy you are sending out. This means you need to actively reconfigure the state of your awareness within for you to be able to alter that which is happening without. 

How on earth do you do this? In this fast-paced and active world, where you are continuously stimulated and your attention is always being drawn to something that is on the exterior, it is so easy to forget that our navigation system is actually located within. We are overfed images, media and knowledge which lead us to perpetuate the cycle of pouring our energy out as opposed to redirecting it to sustain the wellspring within. 

This constant bombarding of information demands attention so as to be digested, as it then dictates the way in which to function, interact and align ‘properly’ with the environment. This belief ensures that the solution to your inner discontentment can only be found on the outside. All of this external stimuli veils us to the wisdom that already lays waiting patiently within. 

The thing is, your mind is incredibly intelligent and processes far more than the feedback you are made aware of. Our minds can only perceive what they can comprehend. If it cannot be understood, it cannot be seen. Which really means there is far more happening around us than we are consciously taking in. The only way to reveal more is to first begin to shift our focus and draw our attention inwards.

When you turn your gaze inward, you become aware of your own fantasies and ideas being siphoned off construct your reality. This can be both a good thing and a bad thing if you label these experiences in terms of pleasant and not so. One of the most amazing teachings that I have come to is that this presence, this energy that lays somewhere behind the surface of our being, is drawing all things to us. Even when it is considered to be unpleasant. I call this energy ‘Soul’, though others call it by a different name: Spirit, Jiva, Atman, God, Universe, energy, which ever term you call it by, insert it here. Soul, is doing all it can to set itself free, this INCLUDES drawing to you the very thing you don’t want to face as an act of self-liberation. 


So here is the mind-bending thing. If you are able to become witness to your thoughts, this means you are NOT your thoughts. Yet the direction of your thoughts is often being driven by your fears- the thing which lays between you and your Soul. To close the gap, your mind creates situations and circumstances outside of itself to wake itself up so as to return to its true nature and unify with it.

Another way of viewing this is imagining a strand of energy that has shot forth from a ball of light. As this strand of energy gets drawn further and further away from its origin, it begins to stretch and weaken. At some point, it meets resistance and this energy then pauses before doubling back on itself. Returning and reabsorbing to strengthen the vibration which, in turn, expands the whole ball of light as the energy is now flowing in a two-way direction. When you witness your outside circumstances and reflect upon them you’re able to see what needs to still be healed and addressed within. This is a VERY powerful practice and your Soul will guide you effortlessly as it knows you more intimately than any other teacher or guide. When you pour yourself into yourself, you will be taken on a unique journey that is in perfect alignment and harmony with what you need to experience.

The greatest gift lays within

I wanted to end this blog with one of my favourite stories from the Hindu tradition:

One day the God/desses were having a discussion about where to hide the treasures belonging to humanity.

Firstly, they contemplated placing it on the highest mountain but then knowing how adventurous and smart humankind is, they figured it would be found eventually.

Then, they considered dropping it down to the bottom of the ocean, surely humankind wouldn’t find it there. Yet, we are explorers, and we seek to conquer foreign frontiers, so we would probably locate it there too. 

Finally, they had a brilliant idea. Why not hide the most powerful, potent and luminous treasure within? As this was surely the very last place we would look. It wouldn’t easily be found there. 

The outer search is merely a manifestation of the inner journey.  You do not have to leave home to find what it is your searching for, yet maybe it is only after all the paths traveled do you find yourself on the road that you set out on, the very same one, that leads you, back home.