Alana Grainger | Choices, Decisions and Re-wiring our default settings.
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Choices, Decisions and Re-wiring our default settings.

In the age old debate of AND VS OR, I would like the records to state that OR has dominated the charge for a very long time. From the outside, it would appear that one places ideas, desires and wants upon the scale of decisiveness, standing back to gain perspective on which choice weighs more heavily. This can be seen as a rather limiting view point and a way of merely existing in the world as opposed to fully embracing life and living. That is not to say that we have a bottle of Vodka a night AND a bottle of wine. It is more about having a bit of both within that magical realm known as ‘balance’.


When I reflect on my experiences in life, I have often been an ALL OR NOTHING kind of person.  I swung wildly from one extreme to the other. From party girl to yogi, carnivore to vegetarian, from all work and no play to all play and no work. These drastic alterations in both form and environment offered me the opportunity to experience one thing and then the exact opposite in an incredibly short period of time. This was both fun, exciting and in the end, utterly exhausting as maintaining life at either pole was just not possible for any sustainable length of time.

In the past, I have always chosen one thing over another partially because I could not maintain self restraint. I simple couldn’t allow myself to have both as I was not capable of holding a strong boundary around either want. Clearly this idea is not applicable to all situations in life.  I have now come to view the way that my mind oversaw these situations was a coping strategy so as to ensure control.

May I be so bold as to point out this OR idea comes from a place of limitation that has been fed to us since we were young and not only do we not question it, we now have it so ingrained in our system we barely even recognise it when we act from this place. 

Reviewing the blueprint

There are many people now, more than ever before, waking up to the idea that life is abundant. Instead of looking at what we don’t have, (which is the default setting programmed into our subconscious from thousands of years of evolution relying on the sheer need to exist over live) we are beginning to train ourselves through the processes of mindfulness and meditation to be in the present and see life from a wider perspective. Things may not be as we would like them, but for most of us, we have the five basic human needs in life to survive: water, food, shelter, warmth and clothing. For those of us in the western world, we are doing pretty well, despite the fact that our mind often likes to tell us otherwise. 

Most of us currently find ourselves living a dream we once held. Hold that thought for a moment and contemplate that. This is something I have mentioned before but I never get tired of sharing it as it kind of blows my mind a bit everytime I do.  

Sit. Digest that. Take a moment and look at your life. Pretty amazing isn’t it? The secret I believe to joy is recognising what you do have rather than focusing on that which you don’t.

Ok, now back to the story.

Now that we are HERE, we often forget this place was once NOT our reality. Unfortunately, when having arrived at our desired destination, time is rarely put aside to really marinate, absorb and integrate the achievement. Almost immediately, it is onto searching for the next thing, the next accolade, the next aspiration that will be somehow ‘better, grander and more complete’ than where we currently are.  

Life will sometimes throw us challenges or confrontations, so as to slow us down and remind us of where we are and how far we have come. During these moments which we sometimes label as a ‘crisis’ we are gifted with recognising that we are STILL further along then where we were when we first had the idea/dream. These breaks in momentum offer us a chance to witness our own colossal growth and potentially leave us in awe by it.


All of us hold many patterns and self limiting beliefs about what we feel is possible within our lives. The majority of restrictions and illusions we face are all self created as we have been fed this dialogue by society, our parents and those who we believe are better informed, thereby neglecting our own inner voice and judgement. Our decision making process has been passed down through generations and constructed by those who simply couldn’t comprehend the belief of having more rather than less. This is when our dominating mindset was tuned to scarcity.

This is something that is still embedded within our DNA but it’s changing rapidly as we don’t need to be in a constant fight or flight mode to ensure our survival. There is no threat that we are going to be eaten by a wild animal (mostly) and that accomodation and food for most of us is easily obtainable. So why is there still so much reluctance to let go of this ingrained mindset of scarcity that is raising peoples stress levels and anxiety with the belief that we need to acquire more? We are ‘pushing’ so hard and ‘hustling’ constantly out of the fear of getting left behind or out of the belief that somehow we will not be provided for or taken care of. The more we seem to have on the outside, the happier and more content our lives appear to be, though I believe the truth is quite the opposite. Less is more in terms of amount, yet with the option of having greater variety and freedom.

When we come to realise it is just our conditioning, it is simply our programming, we are able to consciously choose differently and thereby begin to rewire our whole system. 

Bringing it all back into balance. 

By making very small and sometimes what seems to be very insignificant changes within our daily routine, we begin to affect the trajectory of our lives.  In a world of constant movement, it is very difficult to reel ones mind back from living in the future or past to just being present in today. There are obligations, bills and fees that one considers which disrupt today’s peace AND there might also be resentments, things left unsaid and painful memories that cloud our minds weighing us down. What if you practiced leaving tomorrow to tomorrow and yesterday to yesterday so as to see what might magically manifest today? I honestly believe that when we position ourselves in a place of curiosity and openness, rather than closing down in fear and frustration we are open to more coming our way. It is so important I have come to realise recently the potency of declaring that: ‘today life is abundant, beautiful and vibrant and everything is in it’s place’, even though I might feel that tomorrow, next week, next month or the rest of the year looks very uncertain. 

In terms of options, often we have so many that we feel overwhelmed which is why we instigate our own self compelled restrictions and limitations as this is what we have always known and done. We select to exist in life and stay safe OVER following the calling from our hearts. Imagine choosing sensiblity AND creativity. Selecting work AND play. Accepting love AND fear. When there is an option, use AND and see what happens.

It really is incredible to see how life grows and expand when it is given more space.  This comes from actively choosing more in smaller proportions over less in larger proportions. We are shown over and over again that life flourishes when in harmony, not all or nothing. It’s clearly visible as we can witness it in the changing of our seasons. 

The things is, there is no pressure to change everything now and embrace that which is long for. We don’t have to throw ourselves off the bridge into our dream or even into overcoming our fear. With balance and skilful determination of cultivating these aspects into your everyday life, success is assured.  For, if one consciously takes a small step to integrate their passion into their life, they are perpetuating that energy to flow forth for all of humankind.