Alana Grainger | The silence of influence
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The silence of influence

You are doing great. You are doing even more than great. You are inspirational. Whether you have been told that recently, or not, whether you feel that right now or not. You are. Believe me. You are. Your influence extends far beyond what you can see from likes, shares, responses and acknowledgments. There is a whole host of people that you are impacting on that are simply too shy or illusive to make themselves known.  They hear you though, they see you and feel you but yet, they might never openly state this.


This is still a relatively new concept that I have only been made aware of recently. Ghosting is where someone is shadowing you and watching the sharing that you put forth into the world. This enables them to view your life from behind the safety of a computer/mobile/tablet screen without having to have any direct contact with you.  It is essentially exactly what FB and Instagram cultivate- an acceptable stalking platform from which anyone can gain accessibility into another’s life without having to ask their permission or have any verbal communication with them what so ever. 

I want to state clearly, that I most definitely have been one of these people and I want to call out anyone who says they haven’t as a flat out LIAR! We have all been guilty of this and of course this doesn’t make it any better or worse, it’s just something that can be acknowledged so as to cultivate more awareness around it. Most often though, people do this as they are too scared to make contact with the person directly. There is some fear that has been triggered within them that makes the viewer withdraw and not want to reach out and connect verbally.

Quiet impact

Due to the fact, there are so many people trawling our Instagrams and FB, who are silently wanting to know more about the life we live (as otherwise they wouldn’t be searching us), there is the possibility of creating a shift in someone that you may not have otherwise reached. 

I see so many people sharing cat videos, or funny mishaps, but the people who are sharing uplifting, insightful and soulful information are often the ones who don’t get a response as their message has triggered something within the viewer that has made them feel uneasy. This discomfort is inviting them to inquire and investigate the very thing that is creating that sense of disaccord within.  These triggers are some of the most beneficial and without a doubt the most transformative experiences that happen in our lives. All of them urging us to move beyond the current state of where we are. 

Good things DO NOT go unnoticed. 

The above statement is very true, but most often it will go unrecognised or unacknowledged. The good that one person is trying to do in the world will be swamped by hundreds of other funny meme’s or bucklist videos, or instacelebrity posts, BUT I implore you, don’t EVER give up sharing your voice and speaking your truth. The world NEEDS your unique brand of magic.  The quintessential essence of who you are, the very reason that you are here is to share that which you have inside. Don’t wait for the validation of others for it might never arrive. If this is the case then it becomes a crutch, disabling you from bringing your gift into the world as you’ll forever be waiting on someone to give you the permission to do so through their acknowledgment of it. 

It might take days, weeks, months or even years before you find that what you are doing is having any effect at all. The most amazing thing I have come to find is that in the subtlety, the biggest shifts happen. These are most often not seen at surface level until much, much later. Think of a seed being planted and all the growth and expansion that has to happen before it even begins to breach the surface of the earth. This is the same scenario that your influence can have on the world, it may seem like nothing at first, then before you know it, a whole movement has begun. 

The ripple effect

When you begin to share who you are it radiates an energy from your soul which transforms and inspires people around you.  As you hold up the lantern in the darkness, it lights the way for others to follow and do the same. With absolutely no strenuous undertaking or force on your part whatsoever, you become the unspoken hero. The silent inspiration behinds someones drastic and dramatic change of life. The person who gallantly stepped forward into the unknown, inhaled the fear and courageously shared their heart, speaking from a place of transparency and vulnerability.  This all came from knowing that there was something inside, that was bigger than you, yet had your distinct touch and essence, as it made itself known in the world. 

As you begin to embrace even more of the unknown, the longing to be recognised for it begins to decrease, for you see that life is begin created through you, not only for you. It starts to pull so many other people into the mix through various forms, such as the growing of business and ideas,  social initiatives, expansion of friendships circles and the ability to share information and stories. Although everyone has a unique and specific part to play in life, we are playing together as a whole. One person’s influence is the spark needed to ignite the flame in the heart of another, yet it also leads one back to a greater sense of purpose and empowerment. 

You are more than you know: 

It has been famously quoted that the Buddha said: 

There are three things that will not remain hidden forever. 

The sun.

The moon.

The truth.

Although you might never receive any credit for the impact you have had on someone’s life, trust that those who need to see your message will, regardless if they share this with you or not. Your message will be heard by those who are struggling with the very thing you have spoken of. You don’t have to focus on hustling and making yourself known as there is an authenticity and integrity which speaks far louder than any advertising or marketing campaign. 

NO matter how small or insignificant you think your action, voice or offering may be, it has the potential to drastically alter the course of someone’s life and in turn, send a stream of love out into the world. 

Share your gift, the world is waiting.